19 March 2012

Budgeting as a Stripper

Budgeting your cash as a dancer is extremely important. I've been working now for roughly a year and a half working full-time year round. I should be a gazillionaire by now right? Wrong. I've had months where I have cash to blow and others where I've struggled to pay rent. I look back at my bank statements and see thousands of dollars enter my account each month and I have no idea where it goes. It all adds up. $100 here and $100 there really make a difference that you don't notice until it's all gone.

So, I've decided that I'm now going to change the way I budget and so far it's working. Before what I used to do was I calculated how much I needed for rent, insurance and other automatic withdrawals each month, divide that by the least number of days I would work in a month (to be on the safe side) and then put that amount aside each night and not touch it.

Now this plan worked in terms of me not being short money for rent but it meant no saving. When you have money in your pocket that you know you don't need for essentials, you spend it. So this plan I was using was just making sure I broke even.

Recently I've decided that I'm going to try a new budgeting method and it seems to be working so I wanted to share it with you.

First, calculate what you need for non-essentials. This includes food, gas, going out to dinner, getting your nails done, etc. I realise that food is essential but I used to spend what cash I have on me for groceries, not rent money in case I go overboard on groceries. Safer that way. Then add $200-$500 to that total as a buffer. I'll give you mine per month as an example. Keep in mind I support two people and two dogs (all of Boyfriend's money goes right into savings because we already know I can support us).

-Food: $500
-Gas: $400
-Cigarettes (I know, horrible): $300
-Going Out: $300 (we don't go out much so plan for yourself accordingly)
-Dog Food: $200
-Hair/Nails: $250
-Buffer: $400

Total: $2350

Once you have that number, figure out what you need for things like rent/mortgage, car payments, insurance and any other monthly payments that you can't avoid. Mine are as follows:

Rent/Mortgage: $1400
Bills (phone, internet, cable, hydro etc): $400
Car Insurance: $300
Gym Memberships: $100
Misc: $100

Total: $2300

Now, this means I need to make $4650 monthly to live my current lifestyle. At the same time, I don't go overboard like some girls do. I don't spend every day at the mall, in fact I hardly buy things for myself. I don't drive a brand new Benz, although I could if I wanted to. I just don't feel the need. I live in a nice place and I eat good, healthy food and I treat myself to things only every once in a while.

Anyway, I digress. Now you figure out how many days you work per month, and be honest. I'd like to say I work 5-6 days a week but I usually only work 4 so I use 4 as my number. If you work more than that, it's just extra money. So I work 16 days a month minimum meaning I have to make $300 a day ($150 for essentials, $150 for living). If I make a ton one night, I sometimes take out $100-200 to spend on myself as a reward. As long as I have more than enough already. I rounded up by the way, in case you did the math yourself.

What I was doing was putting the essential money away and keep whatever was left for spending. This caused me to have more cash than I needed and I would just spend it on nothing. Now, I leave the $150 for living in my wallet, or bank account, and put the rest into savings right away. That means if I make $600, $150 goes to my wallet and $450 goes into savings. At the end of the month, I've paid all my bills, rent etc so whatever is left over just keeps piling up in my savings account.

If by chance you make less than what you've calculated you need ($300 in my case) put aside what you need for essentials and then just work an extra day if need be. If you find you are consistently not making what you need to live your lifestyle, adjust your lifestyle. There are always things you can cut down on in your life, like buy a cheaper car, don't go out as often, spend less on clothing, etc.

8 January 2012

The Evolution of Stage Shows

The way I feel about certain things about dancing have rarely changed throughout my experience as a dancer; however, stage shows are one of those exceptions. In the beginning, I dreaded doing stage shows. Every song I picked to dance to was from then on ruined for me. If I heard that song playing on the radio or anywhere else, I got that butterfly feeling and my stomach dropped. It was so bad in fact that I would have to change the radio station or find something else to watch on TV.

When I was working and I heard my name called for the next show, it was the low point of my night. Even after I was used to doing the shows enough that my legs didn't shake on stage anymore, the songs were still a killer. I definatly recommend that to start off, you pick songs you like but that aren't your favourites as I've heard from other girls that they've had the same experience. It's like when you put your favourite song as your alarm clock and from then on you hate hearing it because it reminds you of having to get out of bed.



This is actually a psychological phenomenon known as "classical conditioning" or Pavlov's theory of association. I find it interesting but if you don't, skip ahead. Basically, Pavlov was a Russian physiologist who conducted experiments with his dogs. He would ring a bell every time he brought them their food. After a while, the dogs began associating the sound of the bell with being fed and they would salivate every time they heard the bell ring, regardless whether or not they were getting food. It's basically the same concept except in that example, the reaction was positive and in my situation, it was negative.

Anyway, moving on. I think doing stage shows was so awful in the beginning due to a few main reasons. One of those reasons was confidence, or lack of, and the other reason being I just didn't know what to do up there so I was self-conscious. These two things tie into each other and if you overcome one, you've overcome the other.

First thing to realize is that the customers aren't judging you up there. All that's going through their head is, "Oh my god, she's naked". If you do get the feeling that a customer is judging you or laughing at you, don't let the insecurity show. It is damn hard to make yourself get up on a stage in front of potentially hundreds of strangers and take all your clothes off. Don't let anyone tell you it's easy and that they could do it if they had to. If someone laughs or makes a comment while you're on stage, remember that you probably couldn't pay him to get up there with you, get naked and dance around. Especially not sober.

If he's being especially rude, don't be afraid to call him out on it. In these cases, which are rare, the culprit is usually a guy between 19 and 22 and are being jerks because they're with their friends and are "too cool" to be respectful. One time not too long ago, there was a group of young guys sitting right up front of the stage being rowdy. One of them thought it would be funny to "tip" the dancer on stage with pennies instead of the usual $5 bill or larger. He proceeded to laugh as he threw a few pennies at her. She kept dancing trying to ignore it but gave him a look, asking him to stop. He thought it was hilarious and then started licking the pennies first so they would stick to her skin.

I don't know why the bouncers hadn't shown up by now but they normally would have stopped it by now. By this point, she was livid. She stopped, leaned against the pole casually and said, "hey asshole, why don't you either stop being a cheap, rude prick and tip me properly or get up here and do this for me". He had a stunned look on his face as he wasn't expecting to get called out, but as he had to be "cool" in front of his friends he didn't make the smartest choice at this point. Instead of either apologizing, tipping her real money or simply leaving, he took the penny he had in his hand already, looked her straight in the eye, licked it and threw it at her stomach. Without missing a beat, she lifted her leg, took off her shoe (and remember these are 7-8 inch tall platforms made of solid plastic) and threw it directly at his face, causing him to bleed.

I strayed from the topic a bit there but my point is, people aren't judging you and the ones that might aren't worth your time and have to put other people down in order to feel good about themselves. They should be pitied, not the cause of anxiety. My other point is to keep confidence. Work the stage like you own it. Go for those moves you've always wanted to try. Do a spin you practised at your friend's house or took a class for. Don't be afraid to mess up. I've had shoes fall off on stage during a spin, I've seen wigs fall off, I've seen girls trip or fall. It's okay. You're human. Just make a recovery and laugh it off. Who knows, you may get a "pity dance" from a customer for it. Eventually though, you'll get into a routine of what you do for each show and it's over before you know it. By now, I do the exact same thing every time I do a show. It sounds boring, but every other girl has their routine too. Just enjoy yourself up there. It's less than 15 minutes and you're done.

The point of this big, long, boring post is that no matter how scared you are to do a show, it gets better and it gets easier. Just be patient, and remember you are awesome. Not many people can do this job but *you* can, so get up there and show us your moves.